It’s been a long time since I’ve been inspired to write an article. In the past I’ve had more ideas for articles than the physical ability to produce them. Lately I’ve stopped short every time I begin to think. Recently I’ve been realizing that, that’s exactly what the problem is, I’ve been thinking. So I’m Starting Over. I’ve been trying to put my experience and understanding into a format that will make rational sense. Yet, what I’ve been striving to access most of my life is beyond our ability to rationalize, beyond our ability to document and show a logical pattern, a cause and effect path.
All of my life, and I mean since I remember having this ability, this programing to think, to be able to explain my ideas I have also had a sense that there is more, that there is a vast world behind our small view of rational thinking, that there is much more to our reality and simply it is beyond explanation. It is individual and our greatest interaction with our greater universe is experiential. We have developed many words for these experiences spiritual, dreamlike, supernatural, etc. yet the words themselves suggest the existence of a world, a reality, a realm not beyond ours yet one that our experience is contained within.
So I’ve decided to start a new approach because my old approach is not causing the effect that my inner knowing is striving for. My deepest desires are to continually share and inspire people to explore the idea that their beliefs (what they think they know) are not freeing, they are limiting. There is a world in and around our world that is astounding yet it can only be accessed through our faith and spaces that our hearts understand rather than our minds. Don’t get me wrong, our minds are astounding and they are capable of extraordinary feats yet we are vastly limited when we determine that our intellect is the only arena in our reality, that everything that exists can be explained in a rational way. I’ve uncovered one thing for sure during my journey of self-discovery and that’s that our minds are not capable of understanding or comprehending what our hearts and our souls can do at least not in a structure where our mind continues to be the one in charge of our personal reality or remains the place where our final decisions can be made.
The new approach is going to be an ongoing story a discussion of my experience of my path so far in attempt to inspire others that they too can go down their own path. In fact, when you surrender to the path that is predetermined that has been paved before you then you are only sacrificing one reality, your personal reality.
So let me start at the beginning, like I was saying as long as I can remember I was aware that there was much more to be aware of than the people around me were willing to appreciate, were willing to acknowledge. Over my life it has been challenging and downright painful to be myself and not in some way or another cross a social boundary that is arbitrary that is an idea that controls the very fabric of how we are allowed to see our human existence. For example, when I was four maybe five years old we were living in Fort Hood Texas and my father had been drafted as an army doctor at the end of the Vietnam war. On this day one of the Apollo missions to the moon was being launched, we went to a neighbor’s house to see the event. Back then houses had at the most one little black and white TV and all the TV was live broadcast. After the launch a man who was our new neighbor who presumably as I remember must have invited us to see the launch, since we didn’t have a TV yet, asked me what I was going to be when I grew up. I immediately answered that I was going to fly space ships. Bear with me because this is a memory from when I was four years old, my father and other people in the room objected profusely to this answer. They adamantly professed that there were no such things as space ships, I argued that how could they know what was possible by the time I was 20 years old. How did they know that by the time I was able there still would be no space ships? At this point the anger and the fear was tangible in the room. It was very clear to me that the adults were afraid of the phrase space ship. it was clear to me that it was understood by the adults that no one was supposed to talk about spaceships and furthermore it was clear that four-year-old boys were not to challenge a roomful of adults on an army base in Texas when you were told that what you were saying couldn’t be true or possible. To the man’s credit he defended me and encouraged me to talk but at that point I hand no intention of sharing any more of my ideas.
When I look back at this experience I now see why people were afraid of the word spaceship, it is a social reason because they were not allowed to even think of space travel let alone speak of it. To my un-programmed four-year-old awareness it was only a small jump to go from, rockets to the moon, to spaceships.
As I am writing I’m realizing that ever since this experience until now I’ve used my empathic abilities to search the belief systems of the group of people around me. I have been editing what I say to make sure that it is socially acceptable ever since. I thought I had broken through this when I became a ski instructor and raft guide after college but I was really just hiding. I thought I was following my own path when I went to massage school to study alternative healing but I was really just trying to fit in.
When I wrote my book Energy Work 101 I thought I was telling my own story. In ways I did but I was still trying to tell this story in the accepted social format. Therefore, this next attempt I am going to try and break the mold I am attempting to shed the shell I have been hiding under since I was four. I imagine it is going to be messy. For all of you who will be reading this in order to find proof all I can say is that you are your proof I don’t have yours. I’m only sharing my experience and trials and errors so that you may be inspired to bring your unique gifts here to Earth now, we really need them.
Lastly for now I would like to point out the organic nature of what I’m attempting to do and therefore I’m going to leave each segment in it’s mostly raw unedited form. I’ve gone through and corrected some of the basic spelling, grammar and punctuation so that this article is more readable. What I’m attempting to illustrate now is that when I write as fast as I can with blatant disregard for spelling and punctuation I discover things. Like the fact that I’ve been editing what I say since I was four.
Until Next Time
Todd