Thinking and healing exist in different dimensions.
There is a layer beyond focus and intention, this reality exists within being and love. In my last entry I talked about “thinking” as our main social programming. In the western world we’re taught to speak, to communicate. Early in life we’re taught to think, that our ideas our ability to know is within our head, that we need to find evidence to back up what we’re saying. This is nearly a perfect formula to disconnect us from our spirit, our self. When we’re taught to think, we’re taught to disregard our personal experience. We aren’t taught to pursue our inner experiential world in this society. We’re taught to be rational to make sense of our world, we’re taught what does and doesn’t make sense. We’re taught how to think and what we should think about. The problem is thinking and healing exist in different dimensions.
When I was in my early forties my mother brought me a stack of report cards from my grade school years. My parents were moving from the house that my siblings and I grew up in. The report cards, from 1st – 8th grade, all contained a piece of information about me that I’d never known or been aware of. In every art class I received an A+ with a comment that read something like “Todd excels in art and his work is well beyond that of his age Group”. Now please understand that in my early forties even though I was compelled to study the healing arts and I was well on my way to realizing that I should write, I had no concept of myself as an artist or being artistically inclined or that I had any talent in creating anything. All I knew consciously about Art is that “there’s no money in it” and therefore it’s a worthless endeavor.
I’m not trying to condemn my parents or tell you about how they mistreated me, for this is truly a worthless avenue to travel. Keep in mind that they had already been programmed to “think”, long ago and they were passing along what they’d learned to be true. I understand because by the time I was 23 and graduating from St Lawrence I too had learned to believe that there was no real value in pursuing any type of artistically creative endeavor. That was for the few weird liberal people in the Art department. Furthermore, obviously I had no real talent. Do you see how this cycle revolves?
Why is our world this way? why are we teaching our children how and what to think? Well A) because we, ourselves were taught to think this way and B) because controlling how we think has power. You want proof! OK, well if you’re the next dictator to take over a country then the first thing you’re going to do is roundup the artists and the writers and control what they produce. Why? Well, thoughts are power because they are creative potential. If you can control a person’s thinking and therefore a society’s beliefs, then you control how a society functions.
Our Real power is in being, not believing. A belief system is a limited form of being. True being doesn't exclude any potential reality at any given time.
Our ability to heal isn’t dependent on our ability to think, or believe, or focus affirmations. Our real power to heal exists in our willingness to be.
For example, I have this powerful desire to help people be and yet along the way I’ve realized that I’ve been a fraud, in the sense that I have a powerful ability to intellectually understand how true trans-formative healing can happen yet I haven’t allowed myself to actually share true substance with people. Why? Fear. I’m afraid of being judged, of being ostracized, of being labeled as liberal or crunchy or a spiritual flower child or whatever. Yet this is exactly what’s stopping me from what I truly care about and that’s helping people be themselves. All my health, wealth and happiness will follow me being myself.
So I’m going through this process and sharing my personal journey in hopes that it will help you and of course help myself.
I’ve allowed myself to believe that I have no creative ability because I’ve allowed myself to believe the programming that says Art has no real world value. Now clearly this makes no sense at face value. I could get angry and blame my family and my school and the society around me but that truly has no real value. In fact, wallowing in self-doubt and pity is a perfectly acceptable result to the people and organizations that are interested in controlling; thought, belief, and thinking then they have me exactly where they want me. I can’t fight this system because then I am endeavoring against something and this is another acceptable outcome for the ones who think they are in charge. My only way through is to muster up the courage to be me which includes exposing all the flaws in what I’ve done in the past and therefore I can truly propel myself into my desired future.
What am I talking about? Let me give you an example, for thousands of years our society has led a campaign that says we are the only self-aware living beings in our universe. Now this is actually preposterous yet people are afraid to speak of these ideas in our schools, in our work places, in our public arenas. This is how ideas are systematically controlled. It is ridiculous for us to assume that on this little, star dust speck, inside this tiny solar system, within a galaxy of countless galaxies, of this universe which may be one of countless others, that we are the only beings who have the ability to self-reflect. That we are the only conscious beings. It is much more likely that if we are conscious then so is the Universe and the stars, Earth etc. Yet we’re still afraid of using words like spaceship, extraterrestrial and soul. Why? Because we were taught to “think” this way.
If we are going to heal we are going to learn to think for ourselves.
We are going to learn to be ourselves.
We are going to realize that our brain is not the only place where we receive or process our experiences and therefore not the place to find answers for questions like “who am I”